In the Future Tense as Past

It’s been two weeks since my last confession. Last post. Whatever. Which, you have to admit, is much better than the previous 9 month gap in my online scribblings. In any case, now’s as good a time as any to resume filling people in on the last few months. So far I’ve covered one of the few major happenings of the last year, the removal of my dastardly, bastardly tonsils. So what else has happened? Well, as many of you now know, I currently find myself in Chicago. The story of how I got here is a bit strange and long-winded, essentially making it exactly like every other story I’ve ever told.

As part of describing my tonsil-induced sopor (which, despite MS Word’s insistence to the contrary, is a word), I briefly covered my work-related misery. Truth be told, this misery went beyond the lack of energy and general lethargy I was experiencing - I was pretty fed up with psychology. It’s odd how quickly I became disenchanted with the field I was so completely set on a little over a year ago… but it just sort of happened. Holy way with words batman, that couldn’t have been a more boring observation! Long story short, it became apparent to me that I no longer cared about pursuing a PhD and, seeing as my salary was comparable to that of a circus baboon, I decided to move on.

Anyway, I started looking for jobs doing just about anything except for psychology. My months working at Penn started to wind down, and soon it was the end of July - I was about to become unemployed, and prospects didn’t look great. I can’t say I was particularly worried, but it was unnerving enough to make me slightly regret walking away from a paying job at Penn. Then again, having come close to ripping my own arm off and clubbing myself to death with it due to research related problems, it seemed like moving in the direction of unemployment was in the best interest of my various limbs and appendages.

It was during this time that an opportunity I thought had long since passed resurfaced. In February, I had interviewed with a small trading company in Chicago at the suggestion of a close friend of the family who worked there. The job definitely seemed interesting, but because my business acumen falls squarely (or triangularly for those who have some sort of three-pronged fetish) in a non-existent plane, I felt it might not be a great idea to make a long term commitment to something I was clueless about.

So, in August, I was approached with the possibility of an apprenticeship - for six months I’d learn the ropes of the company and, if I enjoyed myself (and was a good fit for the company), I’d continue as a full time trader. As an added bonus, they also offered to cover my moving expenses out to the Midwest. They also bought me a pet monkey named Sprinkles*. Now, you can imagine that this was a difficult offer to refuse. There was some hesitation on my part on account of Lisa and not wanting to abandon her in Philadelphia, but no other palpable options surfaced and turning down an offer that essentially offered to teach me a new profession seemed foolish. I was Chicago-bound. And now I’m Chicago-…here?

Essentially, that’s the gist of it. Obviously, I’m more than capable of providing the minutiae of what transpired in that X-month period of job-searching, but I think this should be enough to satisfy those of you who are wondering why I find myself in this, the windiest of all cities. But hey, if questions remain, you know I’m more than happy to ramble off a response.

Oh, and a big shout out to the Big Ragu on his 23rd birthday. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

That sounded slightly more straight in my head, but I’m sticking to it. I’ll stop talking now.




*Actually no, they didn’t. Moron.